Carling Cup Second Round
West Ham United - Macclesfield Town

Everywhere you look these days there seems to be an advert for this film. You will notice that the name of the star is in almost as big a font as the name of the film. Adam Sandler. He co-wrote, co-directed, co-produced and starred in this film.

This section provides combined knowledge and experience of photographers contained within the cells walls of CTF.

Personal details belonging to customers of Nat West, American Express and Royal Bank of Scotland were discovered on a computer sold on eBay.  An employee of Graphic Data, an archiving firm, sold the PC before erasing the hard drive, though the company described the sale as ‘unplanned’.  This is the latest in a high-profile list of security breaches over personal data which will no doubt culminate in some knee-jerk policy-making on behalf of the government.  The computer was bought for £77 by an IT Manager who said in a statement, ‘Have you tried switching it off and switching it on again?’

The soaring cost of fuel has reduced traffic jams in the UK, a report claimed on Wednesday.  Congestion was 12 percent less in the first six months of 2008, compared with January to June 2007, according to the report by Trafficmaster, a road monitoring company. In a statement of blinding obviousness, a spokesperson for the company said, ‘The upshot of less traffic is a drop in congestion levels, meaning motorists can get from A to B quicker while travelling at lower and more economical speeds.’ In London, a survey has shown that despite the introduction of the congestion charge, the level of traffic remains the same.  Transport for London (TfL) blames this on roadworks and other traffic calming measures.

When I was a kid, I used to like tinned cling peaches. Loved ‘em, couldn’t get enough of them. Peaches with cream, peaches with rice pudding, peaches with custard, peaches with more peaches. Then one day I stole two tins of them from the larder, went to the shed and ate both tins. Needless to say I was sick as a dog. And I’ve never liked them since.

A Ryanair flight from Bristol to Barcelona was forced to make an unscheduled landing on Monday night after the cabin depressurised.  Flight FR9336 was diverted to France and 16 passengers were taken to hospital with earache.  The cause of the incident is not yet known.  Ryanair have been criticised by passengers for the lack of information given during the incident as well as reports that the oxygen masks were not working.  Ryanair customer services have taken all the phones off the hook and diverted passengers’ luggage to Stockholm. ‘Some people thought we were going to die - that is how frightening it was. The woman sitting in the seats in front of us was whimpering,’ said one passenger.

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A plane crash in Madrid has claimed the lives of over 150 people, leaving 19 injured.  The Spanair flight was taking off from Madrid’s Barajas airport on Wednesday when the left engine caught fire as the plane left the ground.  It was the second attempt at takeoff after the plane was delayed following an air intake problem.  An investigation is underway but is not expected to report for several months.

Gary Glitter has finally arrived back in the UK after being deported from Vietnam following a three-year jail sentence for the sex abuse of children.  His attempts to avoid returning to the UK from Thailand bordered on farcical as he claimed he was suffering a heart attack and needed to stay in an Asian country, then threw a hissy fit about travelling in economy.  The Thai authorities threatened to detain him if he refused to leave, which defeated the object somewhat.  His next port of call was Hong Kong, where he was refused entry before trying to return to Thailand and again being turned down.  ‘I’m not going back to London, you can’t make me,’ he said.

Pakistan’s president, Pervez Musharraf, stepped down on Monday to avoid impeachment after a series of political crises.  On Tuesday, a meeting of the coalition government reached deadlock over the reinstatement of the chief justice, Iftikhar Chaudhry.  The two main parties, the Popular People’s Front of Pakistan and the Pakistani People’s Popular Front, discussed economic and security problems, but were unable to agree on the judge’s fate.  Security is a primary concern for the coalition after 27 people were killed in a suicide bomb attack at a hospital in the North West Frontier province.  The Pakistan Taliban movement have claimed responsibility for the attack.

The first of RMT’s planned strikes over holiday and pay was called off on Tuesday night after an improved offer was made by Tube Lines.  Over 1000 maintenance staff wanted three days off to recover from Bob Crow’s annual Union barbeque, where an effigy of a highly-paid City worker is burnt in a traditional communist ritual.  Boris Johnson characteristically leapt into the fray and urged RMT and Tube Lines to kiss and make up, dismissing it as a ‘trivial dispute’.

Manchester Airport is trialling facial recognition scanners in the government’s latest futile attempt to win the War on Terror and (mystifyingly) reduce passenger congestion.  The Home Office hit upon facial recognition as an entirely new way to squander taxpayers’ money as part of the e-Borders initiative to prevent brown people and criminals entering the UK.  So far, 13 million people in the UK have biometric passports which allow them to be tracked 24 hours a day.  ‘This is untried, untested technology,’ said a Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) spokesperson.

An Ohio man has put down an $8000 payment on a car in small change because he distrusts banks and paper money.  Staff spent 90 minutes counting the change, which was produced in a series of containers. ‘He’s pretty tight with his money,’ said the man’s son.

As the Olympics kicked off in Beijing, the Chinese authorities began their expected clampdown on foreign reporters welcoming all the peoples of the world, censoring SINGING news reports SONGS OF GOODWILL and arresting taking some seven journalists for criticising the regime out for ice cream. The journalists are said to be in a maximum-security prison on the outskirts of Beijing having such a good time that they said not to try to contact them, and also not to be surprised if no-one ever sees them again.