Written by: Top Fuel Digger

Following a mildly successful race weekend, questions have been raised about how a 23 year old PG Tips drinking bridge technician can fund a race operation with no official backing.

CTF dug a little deeper and came up with some startling revelations regarding this young upstart. If you’re easily offended, and have little patience for things deliberately fabricated to wind you up, please look away now.

Don’t forget it’s Flame and Thunder at Santa Pod this weekend. Tickets available on the gate at £20 each and you can come and see CTF’s very own Top Fuel Digger on the drag strip.

We also have a party afterwards so you can get drunk with your fellow CTFers.

Written by: silver

The FIA (Ferrari International Assistance) have introduced lollipop ladies in a bid to reduce pit lane accidents.

The bold move comes after a disastrous incident in the Singapore Grand Prix when Felipe Massa failed to win the race after he tried to exit the pits while still attached to the fuel hose.  An appeal to stewards to disqualify Lewis Hamilton was mooted but abandoned after Alonso won.

After winning the Carlos Tevez tribunal, it has emerged that Sheffield United may seek compensation from West Ham.

In a shock move, the club is claiming £30 for the relegation fiasco that rocked the football world to its very core.

‘£30 will be just about enough to get us a new goalkeeper,’ said manager, Kevin Blackwell after the catastrophic loss 6-0 against Arsenal.

Sheffield United suffered yet another crushing defeat, this time at the hands of Arsenal.  The Blades lost 6-0 on Tuesday as Arsenal’s youngest players gave them a humiliating lesson in football. ‘We knew they were a good set of lads at Arsenal, but nobody knew how good they were,’ said manager Kevin Blackwell ruefully.

Give Gorvid some grief here.

Lewis Hamilton will not be reinstated as the winner of the Belgian Grand Prix, a court decided on Tuesday. ‘Article 152 of the International Sporting Code states that drive-through penalties are not susceptible to appeal,’ the FIA stated, conveniently ignoring the verdict for Vitantonio Liuzzi for Torro Rosso in Japan.  Hamilton was demoted after stewards ruled that he had gained an advantage by cutting a chicane.  Ferrari have uncharacteristically declined to comment on the verdict.

The FIA have announced today that they will be publishing a new Formula 1 rule book – but only in Italian.

The surprise move was unveiled yesterday at a press conference following the Belgian Grand Prix, in which Lewis Hamilton was penalised for overtaking the Ferrari driven by Kimi Raikkonen. ‘Allowing other teams to know the rules gives an unfair advantage,’ said Max Mosley as he tried to sit down after a particularly lively thrashing.  He went on to deny that the F in FIA stands for Ferrari. 

Carling Cup Second Round
West Ham United - Macclesfield Town

The Boleyn Ground is not Stamford Bridge. Seems like an obvious thing to say. But it’s dirtier, less polished, and as you come out of Upton Park tube, the differences are stark. You’re in East London now, not West. The shops sell kebabs, not kaftans; pots and pans, not pension plans.

As the Olympics kicked off in Beijing, the Chinese authorities began their expected clampdown on foreign reporters welcoming all the peoples of the world, censoring SINGING news reports SONGS OF GOODWILL and arresting taking some seven journalists for criticising the regime out for ice cream. The journalists are said to be in a maximum-security prison on the outskirts of Beijing having such a good time that they said not to try to contact them, and also not to be surprised if no-one ever sees them again.

The Blades suffered a devastating loss against Birmingham City on Sunday after a blinding goal scored by Kevin Phillips during injury time.  This crushing defeat is just the latest in a list of humiliations suffered by SUFC after they plunged to almost the bottom of the league.  ‘I’m as sick as a parrot,’ said Sheffield boss, Kevin Blackwell.