Who wants decking?

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Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:38 am

Inspired by recent threads of stumphouses and sheds-on-stilts, I thought it about time I got on with building the decking to complement my garden office/workshop which was finished around three and a half years ago...

Unfortunately, there was no pristine patio to rip up to start this project, just a really uneven sloping barren wasteland which would have been covered in a decking years ago if it wasn't for a neighbour trying to burn down the entire neighbourhood, necessitating fence repairs and a big dose of bravery/stupidity to invest in another big pile of potential fuel...

So the starting point was a big delivery and an afternoon of knackering my back up carrying it all around the back...
Image

After a few days recovery, Saturday was spent starting the frame and joining/aligning it with the garden office, getting it all square and whatnot.
Image

Then Sunday was spent hobbling around with a very stiff back, creating the central framework section.
Image

That's how it'll be left now until next weekend, when I hope to extend the frame out both sides along the fence and get the posts set for the built in planters in the front corners.

The plan is to have a vaguely presentable and useable garden for Lockdown 2...
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:29 am

When it's finished cover it with fake grass.
I expect to be mocked but they now produce seriously good fake stuff and it's no longer like a veg shop stall.
Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Turntable @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:43 am

Actually agree.
My friend has just covered his in fake grass and it looks great.
My son has also got fake grass for his bedroom carpet and he loves it.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Dirk @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:48 am

Il Duce wrote:Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.

I think we can mock you for your counting ability

Don't trust the bill if you buy CBP at his cafe
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:05 pm

Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.

I think we can mock you for your counting ability

Don't trust the bill if you buy CBP at his cafe



1. Jetwash
2. paint
3. arsefall... which is what Dirk just did.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by manfromdelmonte @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:07 pm

I covered my balcony in fake grass from a place called Buzzgrass and it looks and feels great, so it's a I have no original thoughts from me too. There's loads to choose from so get samples first.

Or don't do the fake grass thing and ignore this.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:09 pm

Hmmm... I'll need some serious convincing to go for fake grass.

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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Dirk @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:20 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.

I think we can mock you for your counting ability

Don't trust the bill if you buy CBP at his cafe



1. Jetwash
2. paint
3. arsefall... which is what Dirk just did.

This is a single point: "you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking"

But I appreciate English is not your first language. So given your Welshness I'll let you off
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Il Duce @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:57 pm

Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.

I think we can mock you for your counting ability

Don't trust the bill if you buy CBP at his cafe



1. Jetwash
2. paint
3. arsefall... which is what Dirk just did.

This is a single point: "you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking"

But I appreciate English is not your first language. So given your Welshness I'll let you off


Point
a single item or detail in an extended discussion, list, or text.

Dirk. Don't be a cnut forever, have today off.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by tanglerat @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:18 pm

Il Duce wrote:
Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:
Dirk wrote:
Il Duce wrote:Three plus points: you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking and you'll never slip and fall on your arse when it's wet.

I think we can mock you for your counting ability

Don't trust the bill if you buy CBP at his cafe



1. Jetwash
2. paint
3. arsefall... which is what Dirk just did.

This is a single point: "you'll never have to jetwash or paint the decking"

But I appreciate English is not your first language. So given your Welshness I'll let you off


Point
a single item or detail in an extended discussion, list, or text.

Dirk. Don't be a cnut forever, have today off.


Given the thread title, it looks like ID reckons Dirk wants decking.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by thekungfury @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:22 pm

Turntable wrote:My son has also got fake grass for his bedroom carpet

What?
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Clown Ice Skater #4 @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:34 pm

Right so I’m going to come out and say it. We have fake grass.

BUT, in our defence, we tried to have a decent real lawn for years but the giant tree made one end really dry while shade (north facing garden) made the other end permanently soggy. It was a massive PITA.

The fake stuff was put down a few years ago and done properly, with drainage and good quality ‘grass’. It looks nice and we don’t have to mow it so fcuk all you fake grass haters.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:39 pm

Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:Right so I’m going to come out and say it. We have fake grass.

BUT, in our defence, we tried to have a decent real lawn for years but the giant tree made one end really dry while shade (north facing garden) made the other end permanently soggy. It was a massive PITA.

The fake stuff was put down a few years ago and done properly, with drainage and good quality ‘grass’. It looks nice and we don’t have to mow it so fcuk all you fake grass haters.


Yes, yes, but that's fake grass in place of real grass - it's relatively normal, like laminate flooring instead or real wood.

But fake grass on a deck, or in a bedroom!? That's like having carpet in a bathroom with a teenage neanderthal in the house.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Clown Ice Skater #4 @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:46 pm

We also had decking originally and it was a magnet for rats and foxes.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by S1K @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:52 pm

thekungfury wrote:
Turntable wrote:My son has also got fake grass for his bedroom carpet

What?

Well you couldn’t have real grass in a bedroom could you?
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:22 pm

Clown Ice Skater #4 wrote:We also had decking originally and it was a magnet for rats and foxes.

My cabin and sheds are already up on raised feet, so plenty of space underneath. The neighbourhood cats seem to have prevented anything getting comfortable under there and we have kittens who will be allowed out soon (once they've been chipped, jabbed and bits seen to), so that should keep on top of things.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Il Duce @ Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:03 am

Careless Whisperer wrote:But fake grass on a deck,



But decking is flawed from the outset.
Wood floor that gets slippery after a few months and requires annual anti-rot treatment.
It's a cheap version of a patio and they need jet-washing regularly.

I stuck that patch of fakegrass on that stupid bit of decking on one side of my house and I haven't had to do anything to it for 5 years. And I haven't fallen on my arse once.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Tue Aug 04, 2020 11:04 am

When you have finished I will post what my wife built for comparison. :D
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:57 pm

ypauly wrote:When you have finished I will post what my wife built for comparison. :D


Don't be daft. Post it now in case it provides some inspiration to do things differently before it's too late.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Tue Aug 04, 2020 9:07 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:
ypauly wrote:When you have finished I will post what my wife built for comparison. :D


Don't be daft. Post it now in case it provides some inspiration to do things differently before it's too late.

Just noticed this, will post in the morning
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Pigeon @ Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:26 pm

Il Duce wrote:But decking is flawed from the outset.
Wood floor that gets slippery after a few months and requires annual anti-rot treatment.
It's a cheap version of a patio and they need jet-washing regularly.

I stuck that patch of fakegrass on that stupid bit of decking on one side of my house and I haven't had to do anything to it for 5 years. And I haven't fallen on my arse once.


I'd have just either ignored its existence, or deleted it and allowed real grass to grow. Actually if I ignored it for long enough it would probably get real grass growing on it anyway.

The point about decking is it's something you do if you have kids, so they can make dens underneath it. Do you have kids CW?
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:07 pm

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It originally had a pogola roof with a bar and a BBQ underneath where the gazebo now stands but she has turned and old shed into a pub instead



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Last edited by ypauly on Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:09 pm

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She will lay new turf where she damaged the lawn next week :biglaugh:



Married to a proper bloke I am lol
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Käsemeister @ Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:07 am

ypauly wrote:pogola roof


Pergola?

Pagoda?
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:44 am

Käsemeister wrote:
ypauly wrote:pogola roof


Pergola?

Pagoda?

pergola, I originally typed pagoda but the wife said it's an L not a D so just chnaged that lol
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by span @ Fri Aug 07, 2020 8:42 am

Beautiful dog, Pauly!
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Fri Aug 07, 2020 9:48 am

span wrote:Beautiful dog, Pauly!

Thanks, he likes to be in photos, we had him at the start of the years as a rescue, he is a great dog
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:12 pm

F*ck me it's too hot to be doing this!
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by ypauly @ Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:56 pm

Careless Whisperer wrote:F*ck me it's too hot to be doing this!

Sure is, haven't you got a wife to do it for you? :hehe:




I can start any job then go to work and come home to it being finished :thumbup:
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Re: Who wants decking?

Post by Careless Whisperer @ Mon Aug 10, 2020 9:44 am

You may have noticed it was bloody hot this weekend? Anyway, I still managed to get a reasonable amount done, although perhaps not as much as I wanted to.

Saturday was spent putting joists into the frame section I'd constructed alongside the cabin last weekend:
Image

And constructing the frame along the left fence:
Image

By the end of the day, the pile was finally starting to look like it was getting smaller, albeit still a reminder of how much there is left to do...
Image

Sunday was a slow start as my back really didn't want to move, so I didn't really get started until the day was already far too hot.

I set two tall posts to complete the frame along the left fence. These posts will have two or three hanging troughs between them for growing small things like strawberries. I also completed the joists in that section, leaving access to the temporary power cable, which is awaiting the demolition of the conservatory before I can do a proper trench and conduit. The open section will be a vegetable planter:
Image

Finally, by the end of the weekend I'd made a start on the right hand frame section, with a lot of setting out, some post holes dug and joists cut all ready for next weekend. This side will have five tall posts with hanging troughs and another planter at the front:
Image

Today I can barely move...
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