AHA Fruit Acid Complexes could kill millions
The World Health Organisation last night issued a stark warning, “Stop buying fictitious formula beauty products or die.”
The statement came after doctors in Australia reported huge rises in deaths from skin cancers as sun seeking Aussies, renowned for wearing almost nothing in the bright sunshine down under, refused to cover up. The girls, often wearing nothing but tiny crack burying thongs while going topless with their tanned breasts visible to anyone who cares to look, and the men who parade in ridiculous posing pouches, are applying little more than a smear of a new lotion that is, according to experts, “worse than useless.”
“Products boasting utterly made up ingredients have been extensively advertised for some years now” said Dr Ahmed Masala, spokesman for the WHO last night, “there are no such things as liposomes or isoflavines. These are words that have been made up. Anyone can do it – reactomiposils – see I just made one up right there.
“For years we have listened to beauty companies telling us that their products contain this or that, and ridiculous words like jojoba have entered our language, words that we instinctively know are nothing more than marketing bullshit,” continued Dr. Masala, “And as a professional scientist I can categorically state that ‘Fruit Waters’ are bloody well nothing more than a bit of orange juice, and vitamin B nanocapsules are something out of a science fiction movie.”
Leading cosmetics companies last night branded Dr Masala as a “fruitloop and a flake” before pointing out that they all have products based upon fruit that prevent flaking.
