In a shock move Channel 4 bosses anounced late last night that the current Big Brother contestants, who have generally failed to amuse the nation, would not be released back into society at the end of the show’s run, but would instead be “not allowed to leave at all.”

The channel, which has been suffering financially due to the lack of interest the dullards have whipped up in the UK, claims that it is only fair that the contestants remain and provide cheap TV until the channel has recovered all of it’s lost operating costs.

The show has been the subject of a total media non-frenzy this year, as opposed to the mindless obsession it has enjoyed in the past.

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