Boris declares war on holes
Mayor of London Boris Johnson has declared a war on holes in the capital’s roads in his Way to Go! masterplan.
The announcement came after a bendy bus fell into a hole left by contractors on the Strand last week, significantly affecting the journeys of 17 poor people and a vicar whose car was in the garage. Over the last two years there have been numerous incidents of pedestrians, cyclists and even the odd Toyota Prius falling into holes dug by utilities companies and then deserted for months on end with only a smattering of orange flashy lights.
‘Across London the roads and pavements are cratered with enigmatic holes as though the city were recovering from a series of unexpected scud attacks,’ stormed Boris in a press conference yesterday.
‘The exclamation mark in ‘Way to Go!’ will reassure the public that we really mean business,’ added a TfL spokesman as he stopped Boris tripping and falling into a hole in the nick of time.
Residents in Tooting recently held a birthday party for a hole in the high street which was dug a year ago and never filled in.
‘We had a cake in the shape of a hole and everything,’ said Nisha Patel, a local shopkeeper.
