Written by: silver

Experts warned yet again that Britain is teetering on the brink of recession.  And this time they really mean it.

The stock markets plummeted, output fell by 0.5% and the economy shrank into a tiny dot, leading to a fresh round of head-shaking and doom-mongering from City analysts.

‘The UK has repeatedly been about to go into recession, then it isn’t, then it is again. We wish it would just make up its mind,’ sighed Jerome Pantenpuff from broker firm Barrow & Sons. Other analysts said they’d rather wait and see if a recession really did happen this time before commenting.

News editors around the world are concentrating their thoughts on the economy in an attempt to bring the dilemma to a close so they stop printing headlines about the country being on the brink of recession and really being in one, while the BBC’s Robert Peston is preparing for civilisation to end again by stockpiling tins of baked beans.

Turf accountant William Hill are offering odds of 25:1 on a recession starting at 9.36am on Tuesday morning.

What do you think?

This entry was posted on Friday, October 24th, 2008 at 11:57 am and is filed under News, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.