I witnessed the beginning of the end today. I saw what I firmly believe was the early stages of the genetic mutation that mankind is doomed to undertake as we sail helplessly beyond the bounds of the evolutionary growth that brought us here.

I saw it.

It is rare that I find something that can shock me anymore. But I realise that life is just packed full of these little special treats for us. For today, I witnessed a twenty stone woman rubbing spit into her own naked breasts, whilst sunbathing on a small towel, surrounded by terrier shit.

It’s not an easy thing to see.

It’s difficult at the best of times to comprehend what motivates other people let alone what drives them to behave as they do and take their own particular path through life. But then the kind of person who decides to fill your drainpipe with builders foam, before cutting it off and positioning it against some B&Q feathered edge board, in the vain hope that you will believe that the pipe continues though unhindered, and the even vainer hope that it will never rain again – is a fcuking idiot.

This is his wife.

I don’t believe there is a moral to this story. I can’t even offer an explanation. I don’t know why she would be prepared to strip off an sunbathe in an overlooked courtyard where her 8 insipid mini-hounds have laid eggs by the dozen. I wouldn’t like to hazard a guess as to what she was attempting to rub off her pale rippling boob via the medium of gob. But I’ll tell you this;

I was sick in my mouth.

Tags: neighbour, unhappy, wrong

This entry was posted on Friday, August 1st, 2008 at 5:26 am and is filed under Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.