Top Met job goes to large dog
Written by: silver
The new commissioner of the Metropolitan police will be a large dog, an unnamed source claimed today.
The breed of the dog is not yet known, but it is alleged that it could be a spaniel whose previous duties included sniffing illegal immigrants and drugs at Heathrow. Competition for the position has been fierce, as women and representatives from various ethnic groups fought to demonstrate how politically-correct they could be.
The vacancy was created when Sir Ian Blair was sacked last month by London mayor Boris Johnson, though he still insists he resigned by choice to spend more time with his family. He will also receive a controversial £400,000 bribe to go quietly.
‘We are not yet in a position to make an announcement to the press, though I can say that though there have been several strong candidates for the role, we felt the canine area was severely under-represented,’ said a Home Office flunkey.
Critics have queried the suitability of an ex-sniffer dog as police commissioner.
‘We are concerned that the dog may have a cocaine addition which would affect its ability to lead the Met,’ sniffed a London Assembly spokesperson. ‘Though on the other hand we’d get a lot more charlie into the country with one less dog at the airport.’
