Written by: silver

A new Ofsted report claims that more children are failing at school because their teachers just don’t look like the ones on TV.

 

Teachers with facial hair, particularly beards have come under criticism, but the report also slams teachers who smell, female teachers who look like they might be lesbians and ‘ugly’ teachers.

 

‘It’s really important for children to be inspired by their teacher’s appearance to keep them interested in learning,’ said Lorna Muncher from Ofsted. The report was based on a survey of children aged 8-16 across the country and puts the onus firmly back on schools to entertain children during lessons instead of disciplining them for being badly-behaved little shits with the attention spans of gerbils.

 

‘My English teacher wears, like, rilly, rilly sucky jackets and last term we couldn’t, like, concentrate on our exams, innit,’ said a pupil at an inner city school as she tried to knife a fellow student.

 

Ofsted faces criticism over the report from the National Union of Teachers, who say that advertising for better looking and gender-identifiable staff could be view as discriminatory and lead to a shortage of maths and PE teachers.

 

‘They’re only letting themselves down and could do a lot better,’ sighed a disappointed spokesman from the NUT.

 

Did an ugly teacher ruin YOUR prospects?

This entry was posted on Monday, January 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm and is filed under News, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.